The Lonely Mind: Begin

Twelve hours in the office and I am suddenly awake. It is 9:56 PM of the next day and I only realize the time now.

They say the weekend is always too short and I could not agree more than I do now. How does time get away from you really? One day it’s Friday and the next it’s Tuesday and soon after it’s the weekend. Explain to me how I can never pinpoint the days I was happy and days I was depressed. Everyday just seems like a giant bowl of meh and hm. Everyone seems like a giant bowl of meh and hm.

Where am I now? Still here, but it is 10:05. What has happened since 9:56 that I can’t seem to remember how I felt and what I was doing? Why can I never remember the people who matter and the things they have done to make themselves matter? Why can I never forgive people for the times I do remember and love them more for the times I do not?

That has never changed. Thought the time ticks on– it is 10:11 PM now– my heart never changes. I always feel too dark for the sun, unworthy and too anxious for the world to even notice. Even as it is 10:14 PM, my heart stays the same and I only see the sad from the good and the bad from the happy, thus, the bowl of meh and hm.

I will never change, but maybe tomorrow I will wake up at 9 AM and realize it early enough for the day to matter.

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The Lonely Mind: Begin

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